


Donut Run

by Saita_the_Kirin



Category: Total Drama (Cartoon)
Genre: Exhibitionism, Humor, M/M, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:28:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22929463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saita_the_Kirin/pseuds/Saita_the_Kirin
Summary: Mal drags Duncan out of bed just to make a joke.WARNING, PARODY ALERT! STUPID HUMOR AHEAD!Link to original story included, I have absolutely no connection to the other of the story this is parodied off of.
Relationships: Duncan/Mal (Total Drama)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	Donut Run

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Duncan Donuts](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/562981) by TheDestinedApple. 



> So my buddy ICAAC showed me a fan fiction where Duncan took Gwen to a popular donut chain and challenged me to do a Malcan parody of it. This took me all of an hour with the thought of 'you want a pardoy of a stupid joke? I'll give you a parody of a stupid joke!' And this was born!
> 
> Blame her guys not me!
> 
> (Edit: Bloody thing posted twice and I accidently deleted the fixed version. Refixed it now)
> 
> ~Enjoy

Duncan yawned loudly and slumped back a little in the leather seat of Mal's mustang. The mother fucker had literally dragged him out of bed by the ankle and didn't even have the courtesy to even wake him up first.

"The fuck do you even want at this hour?" It wasn't even morning yet by Duncan's standards. Whenever he glanced at the clock he found it too blindingly bright to even see when squinting so he said fuck it to that. Mal sat back in the driver's seat, one arm casually steering with his hair slicked back, bug eyed aviators despite the fact that it was pitch black out and hands down the most douchebag esk white wife beater shirt he owned while a cigarette rested casually in his lips. The asshole didn't even bother to offer Duncan one as he drove them down this long ass road into the dead ass town located smack dab in the middle of bum fuck nowhere.

"You'll see baby." A casual grin split his face, it looked more dark and menacing on his face but who really cares? Duncan considered rolling over and going back to sleep but Mal being the asshole that he was would break check his face into the windshield with the excuse of 'I saw a squirrel'. Duncan might have believed it if it wasn't for Mal's little habit of going out of his way to run the little guys over. Something about them being dumb enough to cross the street while he was driving meant that they of course wanted to die. He even crossed into the wrong lane, up the sidewalk and over some poor little girl to get that one squirrel who apparently looked at him funny.

Of course people in this town were too terrified to do anything about it so he got off scott free. After some time Mal swerved hard into an empty parking lot sending Duncan crashing into the door because the dumbass wasn't smart enough to put on his damn seat belt like any other person in the country. With his head ringing he climbed out of the car and finally looked up to see just where the hell he was.

"It's… a donut shop?" Mal wrapped an arm around Duncan's waist and pulled him through the doors. Standing at the counter was some skinny teenager who's zits could be used as a road map. The teen flinched in terror as Mal strutted up to the counter like a king followed by Duncan who looked like the next step he took would have him drop dead from the exertion.

Mal ordered a box of glaze donuts right off the line and a couple coffees, his tone made it clear that if the donuts weren't right off the line like he ordered that he would drown the poor bastard in a bucket full of glaze. With hands shaking hard enough that some of the scalding hot coffee splashed on the counter and his hands the terrified teenager handed Mal his order with a shaky smile. "Thank you for choosing Dunkin Donuts, this batch is on the house!" With a quiver in his voice.

Mal sat down at the table annoyed with how much coffee was wasted and casually ate a donut. After a few minutes and sips of scalding coffee Duncan woke up and was able to think faster than a potato he finally thought to ask "so you dragged me out of bed just to take me to a Dunkin Donuts?" Mal smirked at him and shook his head, "No babe, it's a _Duncan_ Donuts."

They sat there in silence for a stupidly long amount of time just eating and drinking before Duncan paused and glared at Mal. "Are you serious? You woke me up at the butt crack of dawn just so you could make a joke?" "No. I woke you up at the butt crack of dawn to take you to a coffee shop so I could make a joke **and** fuck your ass in public. Get up and bend over." Mal stood up and swept all the food and now cold drinks onto the floor before grabbing Duncan and throwing him down onto the table.

What followed was an hour of loud as fuck butt sex in front of the poor teenager who was both too scared to move and not paid enough to deal with this shit.

**Author's Note:**

> As always my sick little duckies I love reading and responding to any and all comments and kudos are always appreciated! Even on stories as stupid as this was.


End file.
